I got a fire in me now Mammy! After years in the wilderness. I've let go of that bitterness. Now picture this.... Your little dipper's turned heavy hitter. I've grown bigger. The counterfeiters' wrist you taught us delivered. I wake up now feeling potent. Take any opponent. A fucking resurgence of covid, I can stand anything, if the world can throw it, coast to coast broken down bones, I'll sticks and stones it, A bankrupt business. A family illness. A best-friend-bust-up. A lack of forgiveness. I've got a strong foundation of love, cause I've built it, In these four walls. I can take all that, I'm fearless. You knew my heart. You knew my heart. You knew my heart. But other days its not the same Mammy. My solid rock's not so solid. That dreamy feeling or whatever they call it? I got it. My little baby he's floating on air, up above all the world, Oceans of prayer. I'm grown-up scared. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Sometimes oh, to the ground. My bones too heavy to lift. What do I do Mammy? Is that you? Are you here? Are you always here? Where do you go? Where do you go darling? Wait for me. Wait for me. You haunt my days like a ghost. Amongst the living you walk. I don't find the thought of that scary at all. Not even slightly. I see you in my dreams. And I wake up crying. Tears streaming down my cheeks. I want to tell you everything. About the present and past and some drummed up future.... The never happened, never gonna happen struggles I have, My troubles so bad. I just miss you. And its as simple as that. You knew my heart. You knew my heart. You knew my heart.

The diagnosis came at half past ten And by eleven we had started to plan I tripped and fell down at the hospital gates Only rescued by your outstretched hands Over burgers, we called our mothers But outsiders can't comprehend, We knew deep down, just you and me now, So get some sleep now, It's going to be a long week ahead. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. These recent evenings they've been filled with light, Blinds can't stop the sun poking through. If it was winter I could take to my bed, Instead I'm forced to wander room to room, Piled up in my kitchen: books of world religion, I pick one open, I turn to a page. I read tibetan scripture loudly at the top of my voice, But I'm contented in my Abrahamic cage. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. It's been a long hard week, And though each moment's sweet, I would surrender at the sight of thee. Good Friday, Friday be good to me. It takes an hour just to get you dressed. I think you're speaking in tongues. Two hour tantrums, Christ I try my best not to hit you, but I did that once. You are my heart. You are my heart. You are the cool grey skies before the dusk, Expressed through art. And I can stand beside you bed and hold my breath In the dark and you don’t know. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. Good Friday. Friday be good to me. It's been a long hard week, And though each moment's sweet, I would surrender at the sight of thee. Good Friday, Friday be good to me.

The tickle monster's asleep, don't wake him, don't wake him. The cookie bear's on his feet, just playing, just playing, Oh No, he's awake! he's awake! he's awake! I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe Jump onto my back love. Time to go to your room. Rocket ship up the stairs love. Crash land on the moon. And the moon is the bed. And the pillows are stars. and the bedposts are planets Earth, Jupiter, Mars I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe Pajama day. Pajama day. Toy Story or Coco? Pajama day. Pajama day. Toy Story or Coco? I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe I can't breathe, I can't breath, I can't breathe Oh No, he's awake! he's awake! he's awake!

In this house. We use kind words. Nose at the window we look skywards, Outside there's a virus, and a dickhead in the white house, but inside we dress like pirates, with our pantaloons and spy-glass, Pissing in a cup while doctors wait is impossible, I know love, this hospital, I'm trying to stop it all, Control the situation, but there's too many obstacles, Let's set the tap running, see if that trick will work at all, When the news came, was a blue day, while hiding my shock, I bought a lot of your favourite chocolate bars and ice pops, Packed you in the car and down the roadway I shot Get you home quick and let the fucking world go to rot Rush in the door now. Ignore the hi's from the neighbours. Close the blinds down. Meltdown major. Deep breath taker. Up down pacer, pray to the maker, Forget the washing up, take a nap, leave it till later In this house, we offer kindness and hand outs In this house, we conquer bad rows, In this house, we've built a fortress of love, walls 2 miles thick to keep the bad out. In this house. We use kind words. Spot tiny birds. Grow fresh veg and wild herbs. Proud cryers. Scream at spiders. Kindness providers. Fair fighters. 10 full days of Daddy in his room feeling sad. The little nap, it took a little longer than planned. Pacing the room. Then doubled over catching my breath. Stopping my brains from spilling out with my hands on my head. Did my best job to get past it. But I'm buried in blankets. You could use the word breakdown but it wouldn't be accurate. Black pit. Panic hit. Infinitely damaged it. Smashed it. Bag of shit candidate etched in granite. Then I emerge. And Can't stop snapping at you, I love you baby but I'm in a bad mood And yes I know I shouted, and yes I know the rules, and yes they're on the wall, and yes no being rude, In this house, we apologise often In this house, kick the leaves in the autumn In this house, every insult forgotten, deep love in our bones, from the top to the bottom of this house In this house In this house In this house In this house