In the Inbetween

by Jack DeValera

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1.
I'm standing on the landing at the top of the stairs and I've been staring at a lightbulb, its in need of repair, Listening intently, after saying the prayers, for any children moving, in their beds with their bears, And in the dining room below me you are moving around now Humming to the radio and sweeping the ground now Then finishing the kitchen in the last of the light. And moving to the hallway and then into my sight Then one foot before the other as you start your ascent, Tracing older patterns on the carpet again, But the top of your head it is all you present, And I avert my eyes as I begin my descent, Inches inbetween us in this intimate dance, No discussion needed, no spontaneous glance, No quiet whisper, no grabbing of hands, we've passed and we continue the night.. Everything important it is under this roof, Floorboards under our feet, hold the singular truth, The virus in the distance made me think of our lives, It shrunk the opportunities and focused the mind, Though the years they will unravel most secret laments, There's always something hidden that we keep to ourselves, And no that's not a weakness, it's a singular strength. To know that there's a universe we can't comprehend, And yes there's folks with bruises blue from stamping their feet, They'll slam the door in anger and not speak for a week, And yes, they'll even pass upon the stairs and not speak, believing every moment that the work is complete, but this bond, it took a miracle to make it exist, it can melt into the air just like a pantomime kiss, it can slip between our fingers, it can tease and can twist, so be careful not to venture too far, Stay in the light Stay in the light Stay in the light Stay in the light Stay in the light Stay in the light Count all the days That make up a life A climate that is changing, a daddy who died, The money in a bank account, the speech of a child, and a love is ever-changing, but the moment it dies, is when we take it all for granted and forget to stare together into the mystery.
2.
The money it landed. We didn't drop dead. We made the kids dinner and we put them to bed. Now I walk through showrooms of aquamarine. I'm living in the middle in the inbetween. And she said:'Oh you worked so hard!' Then why is every moment feel I'm back to the start? And she said: 'All that work's paid off!' Then why can my feet not find a solid rock? Never felt Calacatta marble under my feet. I've never had champagne in a limosine. We went to a jewellers to right all the wrongs. A green emerald set inside Corinthian bronze. And she said:'Oh you worked so hard!' Then why is every moment feel I'm back to the start? And she said: 'All that work's paid off!' Then why can my feet not find a solid rock? 9 Hail Marys and the lord's prayer. But I'm not here. And I'm not there. But oh, to feel your heat my love Oh, lying next to me my love There's plenty more time left for you and me my love on this earth
3.
In a rear view mirror. A child's face turns red. Quiet down in the back there folks, There's still a million miles ahead We're packed up tight. Cracked band of five. Left Dublin in a puddle of dust, Across the country to the other side, On our holidays On our holidays Late evening nap. Confused and lost. It's not the same body I'm in, I'm not familiar with my thoughts. And you've changed too. Cast off that fuss. There's a different gleam in your eye. And there's a difference in your touch. On our holidays. On our holidays. Very late that second night, A vision sharp and filled with light, The future world and our future life, It comes to me, So easily with clarity. And we're driving home. Sun on our backs. Your head falls on my shoulder love, As the motorway attacks. I've changed my mind. Replaced my fears. Only seemed like a few days baby, but this will fill me up for years. On our holidays. On our holidays. On our holidays.
4.
It's a small house. And the neighbours are nice. And I can hear you move upstairs. The ceilings creak. the toilets flush. 12 feet between this pair. There's a constant light that burns. Through hurricanes and storms, And it lasts long past the night, There's parts of me. And there's parts of you. And they'll probably never meet. Between what we say, And what we mean, Lives every mystery, Through concepts and through forms Two magnets pulling strong From the sitting room to the great beyond. It's a small house. And the neighbours are nice. And I can hear you move upstairs.

about

When you're waiting for the next phase of life, when you're waiting to get out of lockdown, when you're waiting on news from a doctor, when you've finished one thing and don't know what's next... you are neither here nor there. You're in the inbetween.

A small album of small songs written at the new family piano. Recorded May/June 2021.

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released July 1, 2021

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Jack DeValera Dublin, Ireland

DIY songs made with love in West Dublin.

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